TOKEN2049 - a curiosity shop of strange wonders

I'M here in Dubai for the crypto extravaganza which is TOKEN2049. As I’ve said before I’ve no idea why 2049, but on the other hand no one else seems to know either.

There’s a totally different feel to this event, as opposed to the one last year in September in Singapore (weirdly also called TOKEN2049). Here, the stands and booths are all about the myriad new exchanges that have burgeoned, each one vying to lure you to list with them.

Singapore was all about market makers, who are much reduced in numbers here. Maybe they’ve won, or maybe they are struggling to make money. The offers are largely the same, with pretty girls enticing poor chaps like me to talk to their enthusiastic but hard-eyed bosses about how THEY are better than the stand next door.

The top tier exchanges have gone all out here, with MEXC in particular spending hugely on all sorts of different banners and sponsorships. It turns out that Dubai is their biggest market outside Malaya.

And it’s hot. 38c rising to 40+ without a blink, which actually makes it a bit uncomfortable. The air conditioning is going full blast everywhere which necessitates wearing a thin sweater to remain comfortable inside.

The traffic is unbelievable. Quite a lot of the time I’m sure you could walk it quicker than taking a taxi. There are 3.5million vehicles on Dubai’s roads, 10% up on last year. I haven’t seen one electric charger anywhere which is what you would expect I suppose from an oil state.

They must be here, just hidden away a bit like a guilty secret. Even more astonishing is the fact that of the population of just under 4 million, some 92% are foreigners. Large numbers are worker bees (taxis, construction, hospitality and the like) but equally there are a lot of expats earning loadsamoney because there is no tax.

Back to the event. The talks have all been worthy and somewhat dull (after all, if you accept we have probably “got there” in terms of crypto going mainstream, there is not much more to be said). But the speakers have tried hard to sound edgy and avant garde and one or two have succeeded.

Dan Morehead (he of Pantera capital) gave a good talk on the maturing of the space and how he sees things evolving which was both interesting and thought provoking. The only fly in the ointment was the announcer who was both loud, brash and condescending, but maybe that’s as it should be.

The stand I liked most was one that is planting olive trees in Georgia (near Russia not America). For $150 you can buy a tree and, five or six years later, it will start to produce oil for you.

I remember a similar idea with vines many years ago (it may still exist for all I know) which produced awful wine (I owned some for a bit and it was referred to as “Dad’s toenail wine”). But maybe like the tins of sardines during the war they weren’t for consuming, only selling.

The service in these events is staggeringly good. You only need to be looking slightly lost and someone will rush up to you and help. The food is good and the sweets (cakes, chocolate, pastries and the like) are to die for.

As ever there’s not enough places to sit and my favourite image was of a large man sitting on the floor who had propped himself against a wall and gone to sleep. That didn’t last long as one of the “helpers” rushed up to him and enquired if he needed medical help.

After 5:30 the “afterparties” start with free drink and food and extremely loud music making it quite hard to hold any kind of a conversation. I was talking to an evangelist for AI who was extolling the virtues of your AI bot talking to the delivery AI bot and the AI bot of the store to deliver your weekly shopping.

When I asked how it would know what you wanted to eat I was told it would learn. I then pointed out it could not assess the quality of what it was buying nor accommodate an instant change in menu.

And I pointed out it would send exactly the same every week until you told it something else. I was slightly saddened to hear that he thought these points were irrelevant. Definitely not a chef then!